We need to talk. This isn't working out. It's not you, it's me...or maybe it is me. Either way, this needs to end, and now. This relationship has become toxic and caused nothing but heartache and grief.
Racism isn't working out and it never has.
White privilege is real, and so is white fragility.
Systemic racism has been inherent in our country since long before #bluelivesmatter or #alllivesmatter.
Black lives matter is a movement and philosophy that is important because whether you choose to see it and believe it or not. Black people, African Americans, and people of color have been left in the literal dust in this country since it was "discovered" in 1492. Dying in streets since black people were kidnapped and brought to this country to be sold into an inhumane trade and forced to labor or to be another man's sexual pawn against their own will and judgment, and shot in the back and left mommas crying for far too long.
I struggle with this a lot because it is so heavy. It's so heavy. As an empath, I've been plunged into depression, grief, despair, and exhaustion over the last few weeks, and still, that's NOTHING compared to what my BIPOC brothers and sisters face on a nearly daily basis.
I'm not here to argue this point with you; Racism is real and it is evil.
If you disagree, please see yourself out. I do not have the time nor mental energy to argue with you about it.
Case and point; I recently had a former friend tell me I sounded angry with the way I was posting and what I was posting. I have to agree. I've been very angry at how blind not only I have been, but most people in this country that are white have been completely blind as well. She had shared a video of a Dave Rubin interviewing conservative talk radio host, Larry Elder. Larry Elder was tearing apart the Rubin for trying to draw attention to resources to educate one's self about being anti-racist, systemic racism, white privilege, etc. The interview was extremely tense as the interviewee tore apart the fact that he believed there is no such thing as systemic racism. Larry Elder said very simply that racism doesn't exist. He is a black man.
How am I supposed to believe the rhetoric he would have me believe that racism simply doesn't exist and is a concept perpetuated by the black and Bipoc community that is "trying to play the victim."
I see these things play out on the nightly news, in stories from friends and loved ones, and through other sources of media I consume to include podcasts and first-hand accounts.
It amazes me that among the nay-sayers are black men (Larry Elder), and women (Candace Owens).
It's a strange thing to have them buy into the white-supremacists rhetoric that has white people believing that their life is not only worth more than a black person or person of color but that bipoc people simply don't matter.
What is white supremacy but that which would have you or me believe that we are better or worse than someone simply based on the color of their skin? And how ingrained in our society and social subconscious that people that should feel infringed on don't even believe it? It's appalling to me to think about the level of racism that exists in our society is high enough to tell some black and bipoc people that racism doesn't exist.
My former friend got upset with me for sending her a message that said, essentially, "Girl....really....?? (shrugging emoji, facepalm emoji, black heart emoji)"
She immediately took the defense (who can blame her?) and told me she's entitled to her opinion, as I am mine. And she is right. Until that opinion cause harm to another. Which as an upper-middle-class white woman, her opinion does cause harm. Especially when she's believing the narrative of one black man versus a world FULL of black and people of color men and women. The conversation that transpired was designed to "call me out" for being an angry white woman in regards to something that doesn't affect me.
Let me lay this out real fast;
It may not affect me in the sense that I do not fear for my life at the hands of a police officer based on the color of my skin, but it makes my skin melt in anger to think of human beings being subjugated to this treatment and having their voices continually mute.
It is not fair, it is not just, IT. IS. NOT. LEGAL.
AND I AM MAD.
It's been very hard to watch what is going on in America and the uprising it has caused globally, but it is overdue and justified. I will not sit here and type "Well, I understand the protests, but what about..."
No.
"What about," nothing.
What you think is an appropriate or inappropriate way to protest, raise awareness, express grief, etc is not valid. Every person has their reactions and is entitled to them.
Full stop.
When an entire nation oppresses a minority so much that when shit finally hits the fan they are looting, setting fires, and many other things, the correct answer is not to argue how you would have done it. The correct answer is to lean in, get uncomfortable, and listen. Listen to the voices that have been silenced, the mothers that have lost children, the children that have lost parents. Listen. Listen more than you speak and you may start to understand an inkling of the pain and the necessity of a movement like we are seeing.
Brene Brown has a podcast that was done a few weeks back in which she interviews a friend of her's, a woman named Austin Channing Brown that I highly recommend listening to. It will allow a softer approach that some of us may need as an introduction. She is fully present in the conversation, fully aware of her plight as well as those of well-intended white people, and fully calls us out. I highly recommend taking an hour of your time and giving it a listen.
Here's the link:
Also, here is the link to the interview with Larry Elder if you're inclined to further educate yourself on what some of the conversation is surrounding those that are black and saying racism doesn't exist. It will help shed light on why this is such a problem and why we need to arm ourselves with truth, love, graciousness, acceptance, and a willingness to not only take responsibility but to stand up for those that have been stomped on for so long.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IFqVNPwsLNo
For more information on ways to educate yourself, how to be an effective ally, how to stand for antiracism and how to speak up in the face of racial injustices please visit
I think I may need to elaborate more in the future on what I've learned and where I stand, but for now I'll leave you with this;
#BLACKLIVESMATTER
“Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted” (Matthew 5:4)
"... mourn with those who mourn..." (Romans 12:15)
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